Matthew McConaughey is opening up about past trauma. In his new memoir, Greenlights, the 50-year-old actor gets candid about his life experiences, including two instances of unwanted sexual contact when he was a teenager.

“I was blackmailed into having sex for the first time when I was 15,” McConaughey writes, according to People. “I was certain I was going to hell for the premarital sex. Today, I am merely certain that I hope that’s not the case.”

Later in the book, McConaughey describes a time when he was “molested by a man when I was 18 while knocked unconscious in the back of a van,” per the outlet.

Despite the experiences, the outlet reports that McConaughey “never felt like a victim.”

“I have a lot of proof that the world is conspiring to make me happy,” he notes, likely in reference to his wife, Camila Alves, and their three children, Livingston, 7, Vida, 10, and Levi, 12. 

In an interview with SiriusXM’s Howard Stern Show earlier this week, McConaughey said his family is a “non-negotiable” in his life.

“The non-negotiable things in my life, when I’ve watered their proverbial garden, that’s when my garden grew and I flourished, and I became more me and life felt more vital,” he said. “The most important thing to me is my family.”

Greenlights is out now.

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