Getting over an ex is much like grieving the loss of a loved one. Both your head and your heart need time to get used to the (often) upsetting absence of the person in your life. Nothing’s cut and dry about getting over an ex and the length of time it takes. "No two relationships are the same," Akeera Peterkin, LCSW, tells Elite Daily. "Therefore, everyone’s ‘normal’ and grieving may look different." It’s not weird to feel angry for awhile after breakup — even if the way anger manifests is uncomfortable.

Post-breakup anger commonly looks like blaming your ex or yourself, wishing your ex ill will, disparaging their character to others, or wanting to seek post-breakup revenge, Peterkin says. "A person may hold more anger toward their ex depending on the length of the relationship, the circumstances of the breakup, and the toxicity that may have existed in the relationship," she says, adding that low self-esteem and lack of support also factor into the process.

Still, Peterkin says, There is no standard timeframe of an appropriate length of time to feel emotions. "Grieving is no different," she says. Here are 14 women and non-binary people on how long it took them to get over their ex, and how they felt throughout the process.

Elle: Five Years For Eight Months Of Dating

Elle, 26, she/her

Anya: Three Years For Three And A Half Years Of Dating

Anya, 25, she/her

Ilana: Four Months For Two Years Of Dating

Ilana, 22, they/she

Tara: Two Months For Seven Months Of Dating

Tara, 21, she/her

Isabel: Two Years For Six Months Of Dating

Isabel, 22, she/her

Sydney: Two Years For 10 Months Of Dating

Sydney, 23, she/her

Chloe: Two Months For One Year Of Dating

Chloe, 20, she/her

Grey: 18 Months For 11 Months Of Dating

Grey, 18, she/they

Emily: Before The End Of The Two-Year Relationship

Emily, 29, she/hers

Francesca: One Year For Seven Years Of Dating

(Trigger warning: Eating disorders.)

Francesca, 34, she/her

Jenn: Three Years For One And A Half Years Of Dating

Jenn, 24, they/she

Lindsey: Before The End Of The 11-Year Relationship

Lindsey, 30, she/her

Meghan: Two Weeks For Two Years Of Dating

Meghan, 23, she/her

Whitney: One Year Before Divorcing

Whitney, 30, she/her

Healing isn’t linear, especially when it comes to getting over someone. If you find this is the case for you, it doesn’t mean you’re broken. It simply means you’re a human being, grieving a chapter in your life that has closed. If nothing else, let the above stories remind you that grief has no timeline, and that being patient with yourself is the kindest thing you can do for your energy.

Sources:

Akeera Peterkin, LCSW, owner and founder of Amani Nia Therapeutic Services

Source: Read Full Article