DEIDRE SAYS: Jealousy is a very powerful and potentially destructive emotion that can torment you and hurt your loved ones.

It can affect anyone – man, woman or child – whatever their culture or background.

Remember, way back in the Bible Cain killed Abel because he was jealous. 

We tend to feel jealous when other people have or achieve what we want and don’t have, such as a better job, house or a partner we desire. Or when we fear losing something – including a partner – to someone else. 

When jealousy strikes, it can make you feel angry, anxious, possessive and even obsessive.

While a little jealousy can be healthy as it keeps you on your toes, if it spirals out of control it can ruin your relationships and life.

Although jealousy may feel like it’s caused by someone else’s actions, it actually stems from our own insecurities and fears.  

HOW CAN YOU MANAGE YOUR JEALOUSY?

Talk to someone. Be honest and open about your fears. A trusted friend or family member is always a good place to start.

Remind yourself of what you have got, rather than what you haven’t. 

If it’s your partner who is jealous, don’t let them control you or make unreasonable demands. 

Acknowledge their fears and encourage them to get help. 

For more advice from Dear Deidre

No issue is too small, too large or too embarrassing. Read our personal replies here.

  • Dear Deidre on Sex
  • Dear Deidre on Relationships
  • Dear Deidre on Marriage
  • Dear Deidre on Family
  • Dear Deidre on Parenting
  • Dear Deidre on Grief

Get Professional Help

If jealousy is a problem in your relationship, then you may need some relationship counselling – either alone and/or with your partner – to help you work through your feelings. My support pack on Counselling will tell you more about this. 

More information is available in my Dealing with Jealousy support pack. 

Whatever your worry, you’re not alone. For more tips, the Dear Deidre team can help you get your life back on track.

For a support pack and personalised advice, email us at [email protected] or for a prompt response, message us on Facebook. 

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