DEAR DEIDRE: I USED to be the jealous type but now I can’t stop fantasising about my wife having sex with another man. What happened?
Before, I was always on the lookout for signs of infidelity, checking who she looked at, spoke to and worked with.
Thankfully, she never gave me any reason to doubt her and we have a brilliant marriage. Our sex life is great too.
We’ve been married for five years and still have sex at least three times a week. We try new ideas and I’m certainly not bored.
But over the past few months I have started imagining her with another man, with me watching. They start off together. Some of the time I join in, or I just watch.
I’ve talked to her about my thoughts and was really excited, as she loves hearing about my fantasy too. We talk about it while we have sex, which is such a turn-on.
A month ago, we took things a step further. After a few drinks at our home, my wife stripped off in front of me and a friend of mine from my football team.
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She is really confident about her looks and I know she got a buzz from getting completely naked.
All three of us found it a huge turn-on and though things didn’t go further that night sexually, I’d really like it to.
I want to ask her if she will do it again — only this time take him upstairs while I follow.
My problem is I’m worried about what a threesome could do to us. We have such a great relationship and I’m worried I could lose her.
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DEIDRE SAYS: It is fantastic that you are both so adventurous but you need to put this experimentation on hold or risk spreading the coronavirus.
Once life is less restrictive, you must ensure your wife is on board. Enjoying the fantasy is very different from real life.
Be careful not to pressure her into trying something that she has concerns about.
And be very mindful that as soon as you introduce another person into your relationship, you are bringing an unknown quantity into the intimacy of your marriage.
Threesomes can sound like great fun but inevitably emotions get involved and somebody can end up hurt.
Perhaps just talking about the fantasy will be enough for both of you.
If you are looking for other ways to spice up your sex life, read my support pack 50 Ways To Add Fun To Sex.
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