DEAR DEIDRE: I MET my ex to congratulate her on her engagement and we ended up in bed.

Now she wants us to go on meeting in secret even after she is married.

She ended our two-year relationship six months ago but wanted to stay friends as we’d been good mates before we began a relationship. I am 29 and she is 26.

I agreed but lockdown made it easy not to see her and our circle of mutual friends.

Then I got a text from her out of the blue announcing her engagement so I sent a congratulations message asking if she’d set the date.

She replied and asked if we could meet. She came round to my flat but was very quiet and she looked tired.

I asked what was wrong and she started crying. She told me she is pregnant and wished it were mine.

It took a long time to calm her down with me holding and cuddling her, and then the inevitable happened and we started kissing. I pulled away but she said she wanted me and for us to have sex.


THREE in five couples are less than fully satisfied with their sexual relationship.

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The trouble is it didn’t stop at that one time, we have seen one another a few times since and always have sex.

I really would like her back one day, but she is adamant she’s getting married and having the baby. She has moved in with the baby’s father but she also wants to go on seeing me as often as possible.

She has suggested seeing each other maybe once a month.

We get on so well now, better actually in this clandestine relationship than before. I love being with her and I have found myself agreeing to this crazy idea, but I am having big doubts.

I worked hard on repairing my broken heart when we split up and I can feel myself falling for her all over again.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Meeting up for sex of course risks passing on Covid-19 and you need to protect your wounded heart from more hurt.

She is not free now and will be even less so in the future. The idea that you can carry on as you are doing now is crazy.

She will have her other life, a busy one with a baby, while you will be stuck, wanting more and unable to move forward with your own life and find a new relationship.

If you step back now it will make her realise that you are not going to be her emotional crutch.

It may even make her think seriously about whether she wants the commitments she says she does.

If you carry on seeing her, she is never going to have to confront those issues.

Tell her how you feel but then draw a line and don’t see her again unless she’s free.

My e-leaflet Mending Your Broken Heart will help you get over her and move on.

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