Time to take a moment out of your day to reconnect with the poor souls who’ve voluntarily appeared on The Masked Singer over the years! As a reminder: These unsung heroes (literally, as most of them *cannot* sing) bravely housed themselves inside a fleet of haunted costumes intent on destroying humanity. Their leader? A soulless creature from season 2 who simply goes by “Egg.”


^Don’t look directly into his eyes! SHIELD YOURSELVES!

It seems only right that as The Masked Singer begins its eggciting fourth season, we pay homage to the A B C D-list celebrities featured on the show. Here’s to hoping their therapy bills aren’t too high!

Season 4

The Lips: Wendy Williams

Can’t believe she was voted off. The audacity of this show.

The Baby Alien: Mark Sanchez

Not not convinced that Baby Alien actually tried to abduct poor Mark.

The Giraffe: Brian Austin Green

Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly’s silence is deafening.

The Gremlin: Mickey Rourke

Dude was literally so over this show that he unmasked himself, bless.

The Dragon: Busta Rhymes

Honestly impressed by the talent on season 4 so far! But given the fact that Busta Rhymes was voted off in week one, I have to assume it’s all downhill from here.

Season 3

The Night Angel: Kandi Burruss

CONGRATS ON WINNING, KANDI—I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS JOURNEY.

The Turtle: Jesse McCartney

No words, just :/.

The Frog: Bow Wow

Nothing surprises me anymore.

The Rhino: Barry Zito

Sorry to this man.

The Kitty: Jackie Evancho

Sending love and light to everyone who thought this was Taylor Swift.

The Astronaut: Hunter Hayes

NASA must be so proud!

The Banana: Bret Michaels

Congrats to Bret for finally breaking free from the Banana’s sinister peel.

The Kangaroo: Jordyn Woods

Gonna need Jordyn to go back on Red Table Talk and discuss this immediately.

The White Tiger: Rob Gronkowski

IDK if The Masked Singer has taken control of my brain, but frankly, I find this charming.

The T-Rex: JoJo Siwa

We get The Masked Singer reveal we deserve, tbh.

The Swan: Bella Thorne

Honestly. Yeah. Bella Thorne willingly dressing up as a swan and going on this show makes complete and utter sense.

The Bear: Sarah Palin

I refuse to discuss this chapter in our nation’s history. “This chapter” being Sarah Palin rapping “Baby Got Back” in a bear costume on national television.

The Taco: Tom Bergeron

I—and I can’t stress this enough—will never forgive Tom Bergeron for ruining tacos for me. That’s all.

The Mouse: Dionne Warwick

I love the Mouse’s costume and Dionne Warwick is a legend, so as far as I’m concerned, this was the greatest musical collaboration of all time. Next!

The Elephant: Tony Hawk

Tony Hawk emerging from that mask was truly a shock to my system. It’s like, just when you think this show can’t surprise you, a legendary skateboarder dresses in elephant cosplay. Will life ever be the same? Answer: No.

Miss Monster: Chaka Khan

Miss Monster is flawless, Chaka Khan is flawless, the end. Actually, I’m not done: The fact that she was voted off is insane, and I, for one, blame the Banana.

The Llama: Drew Carey

No man has ever been more confused than Drew Carey crawling out of that llama’s lifeless body. The image of his face emerging from a sack of fur will forever haunt me.

The Robot: Lil Wayne

Congrats to Lil Wayne for being the first actual celebrity this show has ever seen! Truly never thought I’d live to see this day due to assuming The Masked Singer would kill me first!

Season 2

The Fox: Wayne Brady

Wayne Brady won this thing, which means his life for the foreseeable future will be talking about The Masked Singer. Please add him to the list of celebs you pray for every night.

The Flamingo: Adrienne Bailon

Due to devoting years of my life to stanning The Cheetah Girls, I’d like you to please respect my privacy at this difficult time. Thanks.

The Rottweiler: Chris Daughtry

Name one thing scarier then watching a cute stuffed dog decapitate its own head while crowds chant “TAKE IT OFF, TAKE IT OFF.” Exactly, you cannot.

The Leopard: Seal

Things scarier than the Leopard’s cold, dead eyes? The fact that Seal, a professional singer, agreed to do this show.

The Thingamajig: Victor Oladipo

Thanks to Thingamajig, I am now attracted to monster costumes. It goes without saying that I’ll be invoicing The Masked Singer directly for my therapy bills.

The Tree: Ana Gasteyer

I regret to inform you that the holidays are canceled because Santa accidentally watched Ana Gasteyer get mind-controlled by a Christmas tree and has been unresponsive ever since.

The Butterfly: Michelle Williams

All I am going to say is that the career trajectory of Beyoncé vs. the rest of Destiny’s Child has been…interesting to witness.

The Flower: Patti LaBelle

Patti LaBelle is a national treasure and the fact that she went on The Masked Singer is a national emergency.

The Ladybug: Kelly Osbourne

I’m honestly very much here for Kelly Osbourne dressing as the Ladybug and joining the cast of this show. What I’m not here for is her costume, which I’m pretty sure is my sleep-paralysis demon.

The Black Widow: Raven-Symoné

In case you were wondering, no, I am not willing to refrain from making the world’s most obvious joke, so on that note: THAT’S SO RAVEN!!!!!

The Penguin: Sherri Shepherd

Me after seeing the Penguin’s costume: Penguins are canceled, birds are canceled, animals are canceled, the human species is canceled, etc.

The Skeleton: Paul Shaffer

It was honestly so kind of Paul Shaffer to dress up as me during this show!!!!

The Eagle: Dr. Drew Pinsky

I don’t know about you, but I think the American bald eagle deserves a public apology for this truly damaging brand moment. Also, great to see Dr. Drew putting his medical degree to good use!

The Panda: Laila Ali

Laila Ali can literally do no wrong in my eyes, so if she wants to spend her free time dressed as the Panda on The Masked Singer, then I am in full support. Live your life, live your truth, Laila Ali!

The Ice Cream: Tyler “Ninja” Blevins

Still don’t know who this person is, but here’s what’s crystal clear: ice cream is dead to me.

The Egg: Johnny Weir

I cannot even begin to describe the palpable relief I felt when the Egg cracked, if you will, and revealed himself to be Olympic skater Johnny Weir. Finally, I was free from my emotional prison, but I’ll never be free from the memories.

Season 1

The Monster: T-Pain

IDK who hurt T-Pain, but he spent weeks of his life hiding in a monster costume only to end up being crowned the winner of The Masked Singer season 1. Wow, what a thing to have on your Wikipedia page.

The Peacock: Donny Osmond

Donny strutted his stuff inside the Peacock so triumphantly that he claimed second place on this cursed show. I can only assume he’s no longer able to be around birds without bursting into tears.

The Bee: Gladys Knight

Gladys won third place during season 1, which means she was trapped in that costume for literal weeks just buzzing around (*laughs weakly*), desperately waiting to be eliminated.

The Rabbit: Joey Fatone

Remember when you were an innocent youth watching Joey Fatone dance his way through NSYNC and you were all, “Wow, this is what an A-lister looks like.” Yeah, well, Joey ended up stuffed into a rabbit costume made out of what I can only assume is the Easter Bunny’s literal skin.

The Lion: Rumer Willis

If you’d have told me last year that celebrity royalty Rumer Willis would be on this show, I’d have assumed you were lion to me. AHAAHAHAHAhahahahaah.*

*To be clear, this is the sound of me crying, not laughing.

The Alien: La Toya Jackson

The only thing more shocking than Donald Trump winning the 2016 election was La Toya Jackson, actual person with talent, doing this show and not even winning. I demand a recount.

The Raven: Ricki Lake

Honestly, Ricki Lake is exactly the type of celebrity I imagine when I think of The Masked Singer, so I have no problem with her emerging from the Raven’s body and ruining Edgar Allan Poe’s life’s work in the process.

The Unicorn: Tori Spelling

Fun fact: Jenny McCarthy suggested that Lauren Conrad might be lurking inside the Unicorn. Like, girl wouldn’t even go to Paris. You really think she’d be on The Masked Singer?

The Poodle: Margaret Cho

Upon being unmasked, Margaret Cho uttered a sentence that has haunted me for the better part of a year: “I liked the head, and I felt comfortable inside of it.”

The Deer: Terry Bradshaw

Has anyone checked on Super Bowl MVP Terry Bradshaw since he did this show? Because honestly, I’m not convinced his empty deer costume didn’t reanimate like some sort of horned corpse and attack him.

The Pineapple: Tommy Chong

The Pineapple was voted off thanks to a woefully weak performance of “I Will Survive.” Ironic due to Tommy not surviving this competition.

The Hippo: Antonio Brown

Not only did Antonio Brown agree to dance around in a hippo costume, but he was also voted off in the first episode. Truly, my heart bleeds for him.

Source: Read Full Article